Donnie's Deadline

If a Tangent Universe occurs, it will be highly unstable, sustaining itself for no longer than several weeks.

28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end.

Rekall, Inc.

Do you dream of a vacation at the bottom of the ocean? But you can’t float the bill?

Have you always wanted to climb the mountains of Mars? But now you’re over the hill?

Then come to Rekall, Incorporated. Where you can buy the memory of your ideal vacation. Cheaper, safer and better than the real thing. So don’t let life pass you by. Call Rekall. For the memory... of a lifetime.

Aircraft Identification Chart

49 U.S.C. subtitle IX--ch. 701, sections 70101-70121, (the Act) provides for the Department to grudgingly tolerate and reluctantly accept civilian assistance in identifying airborne objects which by performance, aerodynamic characteristics, or unusual features, do not conform to any presently known aircraft or missile type, or which cannot be positively identified as a familiar object.

I'll Be Back

"I'm a friend of Sarah Connor. I was told that she's here; could I see her please?" Whenever a badass cyborg assassin from the future asks you something like that, don't be difficult. If you are, well, they'll probably be back.

What Would Steve Do?

Some examples of the Zen of Steve:

"It's really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don't know what they want until you show it to them."

"Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower."

"Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?"

"I'm as proud of what we don't do as I am of what we do."

Price is Wrong

A handy phrase whenever you kick Bob Barker's ass. Just make sure you can keep him down.

Two Wrongs

Two strawberries are in the shower. One says to the other, "Will you pass the shampoo?" The second replies, "What do you think I am, your typewriter?"

Minimum Flair

Whether you work at Chotchkie's or not, you can express yourself just fine. And you don't need 37 pieces of flair to do it.

What Would Ripley Do?

Q: What would Ripley do? A: Duct tape a pulse rifle to a flamethrower, nuke the site from orbit, and hop in a powerloader to kick some alien bitch out the airlock! If they don't like it, they can bill you!

Donnie's Deadline [misprint]

If a Tangent Universe occurs, it will be highly unstable, sustaining itself for no longer than several weeks.

28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end.

We had trouble getting this design to print the way we wanted, so we're selling these early misprints for almost nothing. See photos of the final shirt on our blog.

More Impressive With Armor On

I look more impressive with my armor on - but then again, who doesn't?

I Dominate My Dojo

You may be fighting children, but what matters is if you're all at the same skill level. It's not about the size of the opponent, it's, uh, the ferocity. Any doofus would know that.

Shuriken

Sword hidden in hand

Throwing, stabbing or slashing

Shurikenjutsu

Commodore Loader

Forget these newfangled, expensive games the kids play these days! Dust off your Commodore-64, throw the floppy for Archon, M.U.L.E. or Ultima III into your 1541 floppy drive, and enter this magic invocation.

Laughing Che

Sure, Che - we know you think that the socio-economic inequalities of the world call for guerrilla resistance and revolution. But you don't have to be so serious about it all the time. Lighten up, Che!

Level 70

You've reached the top. Horde or Alliance, Orc or Dwarf, you are at the apex of your gaming career. The coolest raiment available from the Coilfang Reservoir to Karazhan, this shirt is the endgame to your endgame.

vi oldskool

A big shout-out for the all the old school homies who are smart enough to kick it vi-style. Command mode, yo; what? what? If you've ever typed "ESC-j-j-j-i" into a Word document, this is your shirt; serious.

Two Sizes Too Small

Every Who down in Who-ville liked this t-shirt a lot... But the Grinch, who lived just north of Who-ville, did NOT.

The Grinch hated this t-shirt! The whole t-shirt season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Ninjas Killed My Family

Luckily, they chose to adopt you as a member of the clan, and raise you to adulthood in absolute secrecy. Now you are one of the them, and your next mission involves the death of a few irritating pirates...

Mental Telepathy

We already know you'll like this shirt. And we know your size, mailing address and credit card number. But we're also seeing that you'd be mad if we shattered your illusion of free will, so we'll wait for you to order it yourself.

Geek Inside

16 THz Octa-Core CPU (overclocked) / 36 PB RAM / hot-swappable RAID 101 array / fiber optic bus / liquid cooling system / 10 nanometer fab / full plug-and-play support / IQ 130-200

lrn2play

No skilz? Better lrn2play, and come back tomorrow.

Javaholic

Whether you're hooked on the kind of java you drink, the kind of Java you code, or both - this is the highly-caffeinated shirt for you.

Peace Through Superior Firepower

"I wanna introduce you to a personal friend of mine. This is an M41A pulse rifle. Ten millimeter with over-and-under thirty millimeter pump action grenade launcher." - Corporal Dwayne Hicks

Robe & Wizard Hat

Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

I'm Attacking The Darkness

Why are you casting magic missile? There's nothing to attack here, you Summoner Geek.

Let The Games Begin

By Imperial Dictate, let all who would game strap on their swords, equip their most fortunate dice, and show up on time with a six-pack of mountain dew or a bag of chips!

Jolly Roger

Avast, ye scurvy dogs. If the best skull & crossbones ye be searchin' for, look no further. Put away your treasure map, matey, ye've struck it rich here!

Fifteen shirts on the dead man's chest --
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest --
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum

I Love Guns

What's cuter and more cuddly than a baby Glock, or a small frame S&W .357 magnum? Well, maybe an H&K P2000 SK in .40 caliber...

I Believe

Wear this shirt and we guarantee it will keep Them from abducting you and performing uncomfortable outpatient procedures on you aboard their ship.

Nips

If you don't get it, just try it on!

Fairy Fucking Princess

For that special someone who farts fairy dust and puts her wand to interesting uses...

Big Foot

You know what they say about having big hands and big feet, don't you?

Low Hit Points

I'd kick your ass - but my hit points are too low right now. Check back later, punk!

Mad Scientist

It's alive! It's alive! IT'S ALIVE! Bwa ha ha ha ha! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ahem.

Binary Geek

Yes, that's "Geek" in binary. Geek.

Cod Is Watching

So be good, or at least avoid excessive fishing.

I Spell Fun R-P-G

That's "role playing game," but of course you knew that, didn't you?

Big Brother is Watching

Nobody has ever seen Big Brother. His function is to act as a focusing point for love, fear, and reverence; emotions which are more easily felt towards an individual than towards an organization. We may be reasonably sure that he will never die, and there is already considerable uncertainty as to when he was born.

I Spell Fun D-&-D

Roll percentile dice to see if you should buy this shirt. Actually, if you even own percentile dice, you should buy this shirt.

Precious Made Us

If this excuse worked for Gollum, maybe it'll work for you!

My Other Shirt is +5 Chainmail

You can't wear your +5 chainmail everywhere, can you? Here's the shirt you need when it's in the laundry or lost in your room.

Shirt Of Protection

It may look like a normal t-shirt to certain lower level (or lower intelligence) individuals, and that's why it's important to warn them.

My Alter Ego Is A Superhero

"My alter ego is a superhero with impressive muscles and cool powers and a cape"

But by day, you can wear this t-shirt.

Settle This Like Gamers

"Let's settle this like gamers - and let the dice decide."

Blue Eyes / Grey Eyes

"It says I have blue, but I decided I wanted grey eyes"

If you're a true Summoner Geek, you know the importance of eye-color choice in your role-playing success.

Holy Spirit - Magic Whiskey

If you're falling off the wagon, then why not imbibe liquor that's good for the soul?

I Speak Jive

"'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!"
"Oh stewardess - I speak jive... He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him."
The shirt for all jive ass interpreters.

Born a Poor Black Child

Something to wear when the new phone book arrives. Something to wear when searching for a new job. Something to keep you from looking like The Jerk at parties.

Nuke The Site From Orbit

Let's just bug out and call it even, OK? I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Even if this installation does have a substantial dollar value attached to it.

They Use Photoshop

They may or may not perform medical experiments on eccentric rednecks, but they are here, they are among us, and they use Photoshop.

All Kinds of Guns

All Kinds of Guns For All Kinds of People - embrace the diversity!

Super Villain

Doom, the Dread Dormammu, and even the Mighty Galactus quake before my sinister power! At least they do when i shake the comic just right.