Raptor Jesus

It turns out the Bible is way off on the whole time scale thing. And yes, Jesus was, in fact, a carnivorous dinosaur. And he and his entire dinosaur race went extinct, so that we might live.

Donnie's Deadline

If a Tangent Universe occurs, it will be highly unstable, sustaining itself for no longer than several weeks.

28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end.

Holy Spirit - Magic Whiskey

Saint Augustine said, "O Holy Spirit, descend plentifully into my heart. Enlighten the dark corners of this neglected dwelling and scatter there Thy cheerful beams." Which kind of spirit do you think he was talking about?

Minimum Flair

Whether you work at Chotchkie's or not, you can express yourself just fine. And you don't need 37 pieces of flair to do it.

Super Villain

Doom, the Dread Dormammu, and even the Mighty Galactus quake before my sinister power! At least they do when i shake the comic just right.

I'm Attacking The Darkness

Why are you casting magic missile? There's nothing to attack here, you Summoner Geek.